I just loved this little tidbit from a recent interview with Carlton and Damon aka writers of Lost. Nothing spoiler(y)........
BE: Are we ever going to see more of the front of the giant statue?
DL: Why, you didn’t like his back?
BE: Sorry, we need more.
DL: What about his side? Or what about an overhead view? Let’s negotiate here.
CC: The problem is wardrobe, really. When it comes to statues, a lot of them are naked, it takes a lot of cloth to cover them, and Standards and Practices are trying to find a garment that’s appropriate to cover the statue before we can show it.
BE: So it’s kind of a Doctor Manhattan thing, then.
DL: That’s exactly right. Except that “Watchmen” was rated R, and we’re on ABC. So, you know, you will not be seeing the statue’s fifth toe, if you know what we mean.
lmao 5th toe.......i love these guys
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
???????????
Ehh i was gonna do my own f-it list but I can't think of more than 2 things right now lol. Guess I'll save that one for later. What else can I write about..............ok dear reader----give me suggestions-what do YOU want ME to write about?
Haleigh update.........
Very little new info on the Haleigh case. The rumor that Ron was fired was confirmed. They did have the LE present just in case.
On another note-Putnam County arrested 11 individuals in the county's largest drug bust ever. Over 20 MILLION - million people-dollars worth of drugs were confiscated. A few ppl are hoping this will lead to a few of those singing if they know anything about Haleigh but if they are - we haven't heard yet.
I really hope this case doesn't turn cold.
Think I'll do my own F*ckitlist thanks to Lin :)
On another note-Putnam County arrested 11 individuals in the county's largest drug bust ever. Over 20 MILLION - million people-dollars worth of drugs were confiscated. A few ppl are hoping this will lead to a few of those singing if they know anything about Haleigh but if they are - we haven't heard yet.
I really hope this case doesn't turn cold.
Think I'll do my own F*ckitlist thanks to Lin :)
Thursday, April 09, 2009
Holy moly.......
I can't believe as closely as I've followed the HC case that I missed this. If you know ANYTHING about this case you've got to see this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-z6jX8Xvmc
just.....wow
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-z6jX8Xvmc
just.....wow
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
HC-Rumors & Opinions........
So here's my take on the previous facts.
The inconsistencies that LE claims Misty has made include the following:
she talked about washing blankets-but can't repeat the same story twice
she's said Haleigh was sleeping with her in the big bed-then she's said she was sleeping on her toddler mattress beside the big bed
her times are inconsistent--with what time the kids went to sleep, etc.
why she got up at 3:?? drink, go to the bathroom?
what she did first-what she noticed first----------all of her recollections of the night have been different.........NOW I understand it's a traumatic experience. I've tried to put myself in this position-and thought well I have been through something traumatic. The day we took Lauren to the er-I can tell you everyone's names, what they were wearing, what they did to Lauren, in what order, what everyone said, and on and on. I remember the tiniest details--how can you not? When something happens to someone so precious to you as Misty claims Haleigh is to her.
Continuing with Misty------
*she's been brought in 3 different times for polygraphs--she has NOT been told she passed-you do not pass/fail polygraphs.......there is either an indication you are telling the truth or that you're not. I do not believe anyone has told either of them they passed their poly's and while we're on the subject-who the hell boasts that they passed their poly's with flying colors when their 5-year old child is missing???????????? It's almost like they think they're beating the system.
*it's been reported she was on a 3 day bender when Ron went and got her to come stay with his kids so he could go to work the day in question.........this guy here:http://www.artharris.com/
claims he was with her.
*They claim-Ron and Misty-that they'd been dating 5-6 months before they got married. Well apparently this was an on/off relationship. This puts her at 16 years old when 24-year old Ron started dating her......i'll leave that alone.
Now let's talk about Ron:
*WS'ers that know him personally claim he's incredibly hotheaded.
He gained custody of the two children 3 years ago. Crystal was found to be unfit 3 different times by 2 different judges.
One of the reasons he was able to obtain custody is he'd told the judge his mother and grandmother would be helping with the children. Apparently they couldn't help that night :(
He's been seen by countless people at the mudbogs-which is where ppl get together in 4-wheel drives/4-wheelers and go mudbogging. One of the earliest sightings of him there was 2 weeks after Haleigh's disappearance.
He flat out lied during an interview when questioned about past drug abuse-I've seen his record and believe me it's loaded with not a single bit of jail time.
He looks less than enthused to be marrying Misty in the wedding video. This makes me think a) he's keeping her quiet b) keep your friends close/your enemies closer c) he doesn't want to get charged with statutory rape.
Latest reports on Ron------he asked for the public to be supportive when he went back to work this past Monday. Rumor has it when he showed up-he was fired and LE was called in.
Now what happened to Haleigh?
Let's look at the possible scenarios after a few more facts.
Fact:
The trailor is in a secluded area. Only one road in and one road out.
The door that was used for entrance was deadbolted with no extra keys and no signs of forced entry.
The kitchen light was on.
The screen door was propped open with a cinder block.
Now supposedly Ron was at work from approximately 3:45 that afternoon until he arrived home around 3:20-3:25 when he discovered Misty looking for Haleigh. LE says they are satisfied with this. BUT that does not mean they believe him.....they could be satisfied that he's lying.
Now here are the only scenarios I can foresee:
*a RSO or SO broke in and took her (farfetched to me-yes I remember Elizabeth Smart but let's also remember she lived in an upscale neighborhood and the perp that took her had done odd jobs for the family). Yes I also remember Jessica Lunsford who was taken out of her BEDROOM with noone else around. But the fact is with this secluded of a place, the turning on the kitchen light, the sneaking in a bedroom where 3 ppl are sleeping just doesn't sit well with me.
*someone that knew the family took her
this one is very plausible seeing how it's rumored that Misty/Ron did not hang out with the best ppl-there are even reports of an SO that had been staying with Misty's family during this time.
*Misty did something to her------I'm not really on board with this one.
*Ron did something to her either on purpose or by accident-----this one is kind of plausible to me as well. It would help the marriage make sense-the fact that the day after she was 'taken' he told camera crews he'd 'give anything for the life of his daughter back'. Not for my daughter back mind you-but for the life of his daughter back.
*Haleigh got into some drugs and they panicked. Drugs are all over these people-I swear you can't look up a single family member on either side and not find a record. I'm not sure about this one........I know Ron would worry about losing custody of Jr.
So bottom line-I'm leaning towards Ron or a family 'friend'/acquaintance. I do believe with all my heart that Ron/Misty know more than they're saying.
Now let's talk about what's just weird:
I'm not saying this stuff is wrong-I am saying I couldn't fathom doing any of these myself if my child was missing.
*the tattoo--$400 that could've been used for living expenses/helping to find Haleigh
not to mention being so far away from home should something come up....it had only been 2 weeks......
*the marriage--no way in hades could I get MARRIED when my child was missing-------what in the world are they thinking???????? they say it's what she'd always wanted.....hello!!!! they were in an on/off relationship for about 5-6 months.....and I'm sorry I've never met a 5-year old that understood legalities. They spent the time to go to the courthouse (her parents had to give permission), then the time planning the wedding, having it, etc. all the while hundreds of ppl were scouring the woods for Haleigh.
I
just
don't
get
it.
*the honeymoon-----ugh I have no words......they say it was to get Haleigh's name out there-to take the focus off his personal life ha and put it back on Haleigh......what's funny to me is all the other interviews had been broadcasted just fine from Satsuma--what's the difference in broadcasting it from there and going to NY I ask you? well a nice little 'honeymoon' paid for by NBC. Again, so far away if something were to come up.
*LE stating the investigation is being hampered by Misty's uncooperation in clearing up the timeline. Wow-my behind would be at the LE 24 hours a day/7 days a week until they were absolutely certain they could clear me. Let's not forget poor little Misty ran out of her last interview with LE because she thought they were being mean :(
Ok that's all I got now-my b/p is up lol.
I know this is a tad scattered but I hope I've made it readable/understandable.
Thanks for reading!!!
The inconsistencies that LE claims Misty has made include the following:
she talked about washing blankets-but can't repeat the same story twice
she's said Haleigh was sleeping with her in the big bed-then she's said she was sleeping on her toddler mattress beside the big bed
her times are inconsistent--with what time the kids went to sleep, etc.
why she got up at 3:?? drink, go to the bathroom?
what she did first-what she noticed first----------all of her recollections of the night have been different.........NOW I understand it's a traumatic experience. I've tried to put myself in this position-and thought well I have been through something traumatic. The day we took Lauren to the er-I can tell you everyone's names, what they were wearing, what they did to Lauren, in what order, what everyone said, and on and on. I remember the tiniest details--how can you not? When something happens to someone so precious to you as Misty claims Haleigh is to her.
Continuing with Misty------
*she's been brought in 3 different times for polygraphs--she has NOT been told she passed-you do not pass/fail polygraphs.......there is either an indication you are telling the truth or that you're not. I do not believe anyone has told either of them they passed their poly's and while we're on the subject-who the hell boasts that they passed their poly's with flying colors when their 5-year old child is missing???????????? It's almost like they think they're beating the system.
*it's been reported she was on a 3 day bender when Ron went and got her to come stay with his kids so he could go to work the day in question.........this guy here:http://www.artharris.com/
claims he was with her.
*They claim-Ron and Misty-that they'd been dating 5-6 months before they got married. Well apparently this was an on/off relationship. This puts her at 16 years old when 24-year old Ron started dating her......i'll leave that alone.
Now let's talk about Ron:
*WS'ers that know him personally claim he's incredibly hotheaded.
He gained custody of the two children 3 years ago. Crystal was found to be unfit 3 different times by 2 different judges.
One of the reasons he was able to obtain custody is he'd told the judge his mother and grandmother would be helping with the children. Apparently they couldn't help that night :(
He's been seen by countless people at the mudbogs-which is where ppl get together in 4-wheel drives/4-wheelers and go mudbogging. One of the earliest sightings of him there was 2 weeks after Haleigh's disappearance.
He flat out lied during an interview when questioned about past drug abuse-I've seen his record and believe me it's loaded with not a single bit of jail time.
He looks less than enthused to be marrying Misty in the wedding video. This makes me think a) he's keeping her quiet b) keep your friends close/your enemies closer c) he doesn't want to get charged with statutory rape.
Latest reports on Ron------he asked for the public to be supportive when he went back to work this past Monday. Rumor has it when he showed up-he was fired and LE was called in.
Now what happened to Haleigh?
Let's look at the possible scenarios after a few more facts.
Fact:
The trailor is in a secluded area. Only one road in and one road out.
The door that was used for entrance was deadbolted with no extra keys and no signs of forced entry.
The kitchen light was on.
The screen door was propped open with a cinder block.
Now supposedly Ron was at work from approximately 3:45 that afternoon until he arrived home around 3:20-3:25 when he discovered Misty looking for Haleigh. LE says they are satisfied with this. BUT that does not mean they believe him.....they could be satisfied that he's lying.
Now here are the only scenarios I can foresee:
*a RSO or SO broke in and took her (farfetched to me-yes I remember Elizabeth Smart but let's also remember she lived in an upscale neighborhood and the perp that took her had done odd jobs for the family). Yes I also remember Jessica Lunsford who was taken out of her BEDROOM with noone else around. But the fact is with this secluded of a place, the turning on the kitchen light, the sneaking in a bedroom where 3 ppl are sleeping just doesn't sit well with me.
*someone that knew the family took her
this one is very plausible seeing how it's rumored that Misty/Ron did not hang out with the best ppl-there are even reports of an SO that had been staying with Misty's family during this time.
*Misty did something to her------I'm not really on board with this one.
*Ron did something to her either on purpose or by accident-----this one is kind of plausible to me as well. It would help the marriage make sense-the fact that the day after she was 'taken' he told camera crews he'd 'give anything for the life of his daughter back'. Not for my daughter back mind you-but for the life of his daughter back.
*Haleigh got into some drugs and they panicked. Drugs are all over these people-I swear you can't look up a single family member on either side and not find a record. I'm not sure about this one........I know Ron would worry about losing custody of Jr.
So bottom line-I'm leaning towards Ron or a family 'friend'/acquaintance. I do believe with all my heart that Ron/Misty know more than they're saying.
Now let's talk about what's just weird:
I'm not saying this stuff is wrong-I am saying I couldn't fathom doing any of these myself if my child was missing.
*the tattoo--$400 that could've been used for living expenses/helping to find Haleigh
not to mention being so far away from home should something come up....it had only been 2 weeks......
*the marriage--no way in hades could I get MARRIED when my child was missing-------what in the world are they thinking???????? they say it's what she'd always wanted.....hello!!!! they were in an on/off relationship for about 5-6 months.....and I'm sorry I've never met a 5-year old that understood legalities. They spent the time to go to the courthouse (her parents had to give permission), then the time planning the wedding, having it, etc. all the while hundreds of ppl were scouring the woods for Haleigh.
I
just
don't
get
it.
*the honeymoon-----ugh I have no words......they say it was to get Haleigh's name out there-to take the focus off his personal life ha and put it back on Haleigh......what's funny to me is all the other interviews had been broadcasted just fine from Satsuma--what's the difference in broadcasting it from there and going to NY I ask you? well a nice little 'honeymoon' paid for by NBC. Again, so far away if something were to come up.
*LE stating the investigation is being hampered by Misty's uncooperation in clearing up the timeline. Wow-my behind would be at the LE 24 hours a day/7 days a week until they were absolutely certain they could clear me. Let's not forget poor little Misty ran out of her last interview with LE because she thought they were being mean :(
Ok that's all I got now-my b/p is up lol.
I know this is a tad scattered but I hope I've made it readable/understandable.
Thanks for reading!!!
Ok so I cheated a bit........
and posted past ramblings/writings.
Here's something totally new and I ask you to please read this.
This post is about Haleigh Cummings.
First-the cast of characters and abbreviation meanings......
Second-the basic info
Then I'll go from there.
Haleigh-5 years old
Jr-4 year old little brother
Ron-the bio dad-had custody
Misty-17-year old girlfriend/babysitter of Ron's
Crystal-bio mom-got visitation 4 days per month
Teresa Neves or TN-Ron's mother
Cobra-aka William Staubs-a private investigator brought in by Crystal
LE-local law enforcement
SO-sex offender
RSO-registered sex offender
WS-websleuths.com---I've been following Haleigh's case on this site for going on two months now.. These people are UNBELIEVABLE. It's made up of current attorneys/law enforcement/PI's/and then your regular old joe's like me. I don't post much-mostly ask questions. But, I've learned who I think is the real deal there-and who's not. They've been lucky and a couple of Satsuma residents also post there-giving as much info as possible.
DISCLOSER******Please don't think anything you read was written in a light-hearted way. For some reason this little girl stays on my mind and I pray to God she's somewhere safe. With that said-the whole situation down in Satsuma, Florida, is like a freakin 3-ring circus. I honestly believe comparing this case to the Jon Benet Ramsey case is like comparing Friday the 13th to It's A Wonderful Life............absolutely unbelievable.
The FACTS:
*February 10th-Haleigh was supposedly last seen when Misty put her to bed (Ron was working nightshift).
*February 11th-at 3:27 am a 911 call is made.
Here's the call:
911: "911, what's your emergency"
Misty Croslin: "Hi...umm...I just woke up...and our backdoor was wide open and I think...and I can't find our daughter"
911: "you can't find what?"
Misty Croslin:"our daughter"911:"
OK, what's your address?
Misty Croslin: "(inaudible)"
911: "OK, what's the numerical?"
Misty Croslin: "The numerical...what's that?"
911: "the number...green lane?"
Misty Croslin: "Yes"
911: "OK when did you last see her?"
Misty Croslin: "Um, we like just, you know...it was about 10 o'clock- she was sleeping- I was cleaning...
911: "OK- how old is your daughter?"
Misty Croslin: "She's five"
911: "Ok...what was she last seen wearing? Maam..."
Misty Croslin: "She was in her pajamas- she was sleeping..."
911: "OK...alright...You said your back door was wide open?"
Misty Croslin: "yes- it was bricked- there was a brick on the floor...when I was asleep it was not like that."
911: Ok...the back door...listen to me...your back door was wide open...what are you talking about a brick?"
Misty Croslin: "(inaudible)"
911: "what is a brick?"
Misty Croslin: "it's almost like-- on the stairs- we have a walkway..."
911:" uh huh....and there was a brick laying there?"
Misty Croslin: "yes...it's still there"(background) tell them they've better come on...
911: "we've got em coming- tell him we've got them coming"
Misty Croslin: "they're coming"
911: "Ok what's the color of your house ma'am?
Misty Croslin: "blue"
911: "blue, OK(pause)OK- what does she look like? How tall is she? Give me some description of her."
Misty Croslin: "How tall she she? Like long hair like curly...with curls..
911: "long curls...what color?"
Misty Croslin: "(inaudible)"
911:" ok- what color hair? Brown hair?"
Misty Croslin: "Yes...oh my gosh...."
911: "OK- how tall is she about? Or how much does she weigh...do you know that?"
Misty Croslin: "huh?"
911: "about how tall or how much she weigh?"
Misty Croslin: "24 sounds about right- I don't know- she's not that tall...."
911: "OK-wait- tell your husband we've got them coming, ok?"
Misty Croslin: "OK"911: "How much does she weigh- do you know?"
Misty Croslin: "huh?"
911: "How much does she weigh?"
Misty Croslin: "um...like 40-50 pounds- 60 pounds?
911: "40-60 pounds?"Misty Croslin: "yeah"
911: "OK- let me get your name and phone number. Spell your last name...spell your last name?Was your back door locked do you know?"
Misty Croslin: "Yes...(inaudible)"Ronald Cummings: "Man, I need somebody to get here now!"
911: "OK, let me speak to him..."
Ronald Cummings: "I just got home from work, my five-year-old daughter is gone- I need someone here now."
911: "OK, listen to me...listen to me...we've got two officers..."
Ronald Cummings: "if I find whoever has my daughter before you all do, I'm killing them...I don't care- I will spend the rest of my life in prison....you can put that on the recording...I don't care."
911: "It's OK sir, we've got them on the way...ok- can you give me...what kind of description of pajamas was she wearing? "
Ronald Cummings: "I don't f%$ know!"Cummings:" Hello"
911:" OK sir let me just talk to your wife. Let me get some information from her. "
Misty: (inaudible) crying. "I don't wanna…(inaudible)"
911: "Can I talk to her? OK"
Misty: "inaudible"Cummings: (inaudible, in background ) "Where my daughter at?"
911:" Ma'am. OK listen I need you to answer some questions. Does the door look like it was pried open?"
Misty:" Umm… (inaudible)"
911: "Does it look like you had to sorta…like someone tried to enter your house."
Misty: "Umm. Hold On."
911:" And another thing, make sure you and your husband don't touch the door anymore. Don't mess with the door or anything. "
Misty: "No it doesn't. "911: "it doesn't look like it is?"Misty: "No"
911: "Ok, now listen, tell your husband, do not touch anything- because we are going to get a k-9 out there"
Misty: "ok....she said don't touch anything because they are bringing a k-9 out here"Ronald Cummings: "they better bring f'ing something out here- because if I get my hands on that mother f'er I'm going to kill him...I don't give a f%*)@# about prison...mother F'ing prison doesn't scare me."
911:" ok, we understand- we've got them on the wayWhat's her name...{redacted}...how do you spell her first name...{redacted}...what's her middle name? ...{redacted}. And the spelling of the last name is? ...{redacted}."
Misty: "well, that's my last name"
911: "What's her date of birth?
Ronald Cummings: "i'm going to f'ing kill somebody"
911:"Tell him we understand- we need to get her date of birth."Misty: "what's her date of birth?"
Ronald Cummings: "F her date of birth- we need to find her- f her date of birth."
911: " Ok Listen to me, I'm getting this information- I'm not the officer driving out there ok? - they are coming out there to handle that situation. I need to gather all the information from you over the phone...it has nothing to do with me driving out there...ok? They are coming out there...ok?"
Misty: "ok
"911: "ok, I'm going to stay on the phone with you ok? Until they get there...ok?"
Misty: "ok"(backgroud noise)
911: "tell him we've got them coming, he's got to calm down a little bit. The officers are going to come out there and do what they can. We can't have him screaming and yelling at the officers whenever they get there ok?"
Misty:" Uh huh..."Ronald Cummings: "where is my f'ing phone...we've got better people to talk to then some mother f'ers who ain't coming."
February 11th-full scale land/water/air search is started. Ron and Crystal both plead for Haleigh's return in different interviews.
Over the next few days-LE has absolutely nothing or at least nothing they're telling the public.
February 28th Ron travels 2 hours away to get a $400 tattoo of Haleigh paid for by an anonymous donor. Camera crews filmed Ron leaving the tat parlor and started asking questions to which Ron responded in so many words-I can't do what I want, a camera is always in my face, etc.
March 12th-Ron and Misty get married.
March 13th-They travel to NYC to do an interview on the Today show-which they were also furnished a hotel for two nights for a 'honeymoon'.
During the interview-Ron and Misty both boast about having passed their poly's with 'flying colors'. Ron uses his infamous "I was at work" line over and over. And, lastly when Misty is questioned about her inconsistencies about the night Haleigh went missing she turns to Ron as if looking for assistance and finally answers "I don't know". You can watch the Today show interview here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4KvgPF8cak
In the last 3 weeks Crystal has obtained famed Florida attorney-Kim Picazio to help obtain custody of Jr. She's also released info/pictures of alledged abuse against Haleigh and Jr caused by Ron.
Kim had an acquaintance come in pro bono--Cobra (a self-proclaimed capturer of over 8000 fugitives) come in to work on the case. At first Cobra befriended Ron and his family. Then when Ron obtained an attorney-he was told to not talk to Cobra anymore. At one point in the last few weeks Teresa Neves called Cobra on his cell. They met at a gas station. She was upset telling him she'd been walking in the woods looking for Haleigh when she came upon an old trailor with underground pens. She led him out to the place then hightailed it out of there.
You can watch the actual video of this happening here-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FNufl4noQI
LE has yet to clear a single person. They state their investigation is hampered by Misty's unwillingness to cooperate and provide an accurate detail of the night Haleigh went missing.
Today-April 8th-------absolutely no news :(
These are all FACTS--next I'll write about rumors/my opinions/etc.
Here's something totally new and I ask you to please read this.
This post is about Haleigh Cummings.
First-the cast of characters and abbreviation meanings......
Second-the basic info
Then I'll go from there.
Haleigh-5 years old
Jr-4 year old little brother
Ron-the bio dad-had custody
Misty-17-year old girlfriend/babysitter of Ron's
Crystal-bio mom-got visitation 4 days per month
Teresa Neves or TN-Ron's mother
Cobra-aka William Staubs-a private investigator brought in by Crystal
LE-local law enforcement
SO-sex offender
RSO-registered sex offender
WS-websleuths.com---I've been following Haleigh's case on this site for going on two months now.. These people are UNBELIEVABLE. It's made up of current attorneys/law enforcement/PI's/and then your regular old joe's like me. I don't post much-mostly ask questions. But, I've learned who I think is the real deal there-and who's not. They've been lucky and a couple of Satsuma residents also post there-giving as much info as possible.
DISCLOSER******Please don't think anything you read was written in a light-hearted way. For some reason this little girl stays on my mind and I pray to God she's somewhere safe. With that said-the whole situation down in Satsuma, Florida, is like a freakin 3-ring circus. I honestly believe comparing this case to the Jon Benet Ramsey case is like comparing Friday the 13th to It's A Wonderful Life............absolutely unbelievable.
The FACTS:
*February 10th-Haleigh was supposedly last seen when Misty put her to bed (Ron was working nightshift).
*February 11th-at 3:27 am a 911 call is made.
Here's the call:
911: "911, what's your emergency"
Misty Croslin: "Hi...umm...I just woke up...and our backdoor was wide open and I think...and I can't find our daughter"
911: "you can't find what?"
Misty Croslin:"our daughter"911:"
OK, what's your address?
Misty Croslin: "(inaudible)"
911: "OK, what's the numerical?"
Misty Croslin: "The numerical...what's that?"
911: "the number...green lane?"
Misty Croslin: "Yes"
911: "OK when did you last see her?"
Misty Croslin: "Um, we like just, you know...it was about 10 o'clock- she was sleeping- I was cleaning...
911: "OK- how old is your daughter?"
Misty Croslin: "She's five"
911: "Ok...what was she last seen wearing? Maam..."
Misty Croslin: "She was in her pajamas- she was sleeping..."
911: "OK...alright...You said your back door was wide open?"
Misty Croslin: "yes- it was bricked- there was a brick on the floor...when I was asleep it was not like that."
911: Ok...the back door...listen to me...your back door was wide open...what are you talking about a brick?"
Misty Croslin: "(inaudible)"
911: "what is a brick?"
Misty Croslin: "it's almost like-- on the stairs- we have a walkway..."
911:" uh huh....and there was a brick laying there?"
Misty Croslin: "yes...it's still there"(background) tell them they've better come on...
911: "we've got em coming- tell him we've got them coming"
Misty Croslin: "they're coming"
911: "Ok what's the color of your house ma'am?
Misty Croslin: "blue"
911: "blue, OK(pause)OK- what does she look like? How tall is she? Give me some description of her."
Misty Croslin: "How tall she she? Like long hair like curly...with curls..
911: "long curls...what color?"
Misty Croslin: "(inaudible)"
911:" ok- what color hair? Brown hair?"
Misty Croslin: "Yes...oh my gosh...."
911: "OK- how tall is she about? Or how much does she weigh...do you know that?"
Misty Croslin: "huh?"
911: "about how tall or how much she weigh?"
Misty Croslin: "24 sounds about right- I don't know- she's not that tall...."
911: "OK-wait- tell your husband we've got them coming, ok?"
Misty Croslin: "OK"911: "How much does she weigh- do you know?"
Misty Croslin: "huh?"
911: "How much does she weigh?"
Misty Croslin: "um...like 40-50 pounds- 60 pounds?
911: "40-60 pounds?"Misty Croslin: "yeah"
911: "OK- let me get your name and phone number. Spell your last name...spell your last name?Was your back door locked do you know?"
Misty Croslin: "Yes...(inaudible)"Ronald Cummings: "Man, I need somebody to get here now!"
911: "OK, let me speak to him..."
Ronald Cummings: "I just got home from work, my five-year-old daughter is gone- I need someone here now."
911: "OK, listen to me...listen to me...we've got two officers..."
Ronald Cummings: "if I find whoever has my daughter before you all do, I'm killing them...I don't care- I will spend the rest of my life in prison....you can put that on the recording...I don't care."
911: "It's OK sir, we've got them on the way...ok- can you give me...what kind of description of pajamas was she wearing? "
Ronald Cummings: "I don't f%$ know!"Cummings:" Hello"
911:" OK sir let me just talk to your wife. Let me get some information from her. "
Misty: (inaudible) crying. "I don't wanna…(inaudible)"
911: "Can I talk to her? OK"
Misty: "inaudible"Cummings: (inaudible, in background ) "Where my daughter at?"
911:" Ma'am. OK listen I need you to answer some questions. Does the door look like it was pried open?"
Misty:" Umm… (inaudible)"
911: "Does it look like you had to sorta…like someone tried to enter your house."
Misty: "Umm. Hold On."
911:" And another thing, make sure you and your husband don't touch the door anymore. Don't mess with the door or anything. "
Misty: "No it doesn't. "911: "it doesn't look like it is?"Misty: "No"
911: "Ok, now listen, tell your husband, do not touch anything- because we are going to get a k-9 out there"
Misty: "ok....she said don't touch anything because they are bringing a k-9 out here"Ronald Cummings: "they better bring f'ing something out here- because if I get my hands on that mother f'er I'm going to kill him...I don't give a f%*)@# about prison...mother F'ing prison doesn't scare me."
911:" ok, we understand- we've got them on the wayWhat's her name...{redacted}...how do you spell her first name...{redacted}...what's her middle name? ...{redacted}. And the spelling of the last name is? ...{redacted}."
Misty: "well, that's my last name"
911: "What's her date of birth?
Ronald Cummings: "i'm going to f'ing kill somebody"
911:"Tell him we understand- we need to get her date of birth."Misty: "what's her date of birth?"
Ronald Cummings: "F her date of birth- we need to find her- f her date of birth."
911: " Ok Listen to me, I'm getting this information- I'm not the officer driving out there ok? - they are coming out there to handle that situation. I need to gather all the information from you over the phone...it has nothing to do with me driving out there...ok? They are coming out there...ok?"
Misty: "ok
"911: "ok, I'm going to stay on the phone with you ok? Until they get there...ok?"
Misty: "ok"(backgroud noise)
911: "tell him we've got them coming, he's got to calm down a little bit. The officers are going to come out there and do what they can. We can't have him screaming and yelling at the officers whenever they get there ok?"
Misty:" Uh huh..."Ronald Cummings: "where is my f'ing phone...we've got better people to talk to then some mother f'ers who ain't coming."
February 11th-full scale land/water/air search is started. Ron and Crystal both plead for Haleigh's return in different interviews.
Over the next few days-LE has absolutely nothing or at least nothing they're telling the public.
February 28th Ron travels 2 hours away to get a $400 tattoo of Haleigh paid for by an anonymous donor. Camera crews filmed Ron leaving the tat parlor and started asking questions to which Ron responded in so many words-I can't do what I want, a camera is always in my face, etc.
March 12th-Ron and Misty get married.
March 13th-They travel to NYC to do an interview on the Today show-which they were also furnished a hotel for two nights for a 'honeymoon'.
During the interview-Ron and Misty both boast about having passed their poly's with 'flying colors'. Ron uses his infamous "I was at work" line over and over. And, lastly when Misty is questioned about her inconsistencies about the night Haleigh went missing she turns to Ron as if looking for assistance and finally answers "I don't know". You can watch the Today show interview here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4KvgPF8cak
In the last 3 weeks Crystal has obtained famed Florida attorney-Kim Picazio to help obtain custody of Jr. She's also released info/pictures of alledged abuse against Haleigh and Jr caused by Ron.
Kim had an acquaintance come in pro bono--Cobra (a self-proclaimed capturer of over 8000 fugitives) come in to work on the case. At first Cobra befriended Ron and his family. Then when Ron obtained an attorney-he was told to not talk to Cobra anymore. At one point in the last few weeks Teresa Neves called Cobra on his cell. They met at a gas station. She was upset telling him she'd been walking in the woods looking for Haleigh when she came upon an old trailor with underground pens. She led him out to the place then hightailed it out of there.
You can watch the actual video of this happening here-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FNufl4noQI
LE has yet to clear a single person. They state their investigation is hampered by Misty's unwillingness to cooperate and provide an accurate detail of the night Haleigh went missing.
Today-April 8th-------absolutely no news :(
These are all FACTS--next I'll write about rumors/my opinions/etc.
A New Discovery..........
This is the last one I'll post.
A New Discovery
Under the chapter titled "Discovering Your Child has a Heart Defect"
Three months after Lauren's first open heart surgery, we were sure we had already received the worst news that we could possibly get. That news was discovering Lauren had several heart defects, and that she would have several surgeries.
At a routine checkup, Lauren was 3 1/2 months old, her cardiologist decided that Lauren needed a heart cath to see if she was ready for the second surgery. Lauren's heart function was getting worse, and her doctor felt it was time. Two weeks later, we arrived at ambulatory surgery to have Lauren's first heart cath. It was almost as hard as having her go back for surgery the first time. We got through handing her to anesthesia, and we waited in the waiting room while the cath was done. The cardiologist that performed the heart cath came out several hours later and called us into the family room.
He went on to explain her lung artery pressures, and other things that my husband and I were still learning the meanings of. He explained that, "her pressures across her chest were a little off, but not much. But, when I measured the pressure difference between her chest and legs, the pressures were way off. I decided to go up her other leg to look at her descending aorta, and this is what I found." He showed us the pictures, but we didn't know what to look for. He pointed out her descending aorta and all of her iliac arteries (arteries that extend off the descending aorta and supply blood/oxygen to the lower organs) were very small. He told us that he had already shown the pictures to Lauren's cardiologist and her heart surgeon. They all agreed that her heart function was getting worse because her heart was working so hard to supply the lower organs through the small arteries. They decided that the second surgery would not help her and neither would a transplant. A new heart would eventually wear out as well.
My husband and I sat there once again, completely devastated. It took days for the news to sink in, and I'm not sure that it ever actually did. A couple of days later, we decided to go about life the best we could; she was still the same baby we had taken to the hospital.
Lauren's cardiologist called us up five days after the cath to talk to us. She said basically the same things, but that they were hoping for the impossible--that the heart cath was wrong. She added a new medicine and increased two of Lauren's other meds. She told us she wasn't giving up, but most likely, we would lose her within the next few months. She scheduled a ct scan for one month later. She wanted something to compare the heart cath pictures to.
Jeannie Reynolds
(870)942-0832 jordan12694@alltel.net
Title Proposal for Chicken Soup for the Soul Books
Proposed Title: Chicken Soup for the Mended Hearts' Soul
Chicken Soup for the CHD Families' Soul
"A New Discovery" page 2
We had the ct scan done, and still had to wait for the results. During this time, we gave Lauren a six month birthday party, and our oldest daughter, Jordan, decided to be homeschooled for her fourth grade year so she could be with Lauren as much as possible.
Finally, seven weeks after receiving the latest news, Lauren's cardiologist called us to come in. She told us the radiologist had studied Lauren's pictures for weeks before coming to the conclusion that she could, in fact, live with this newly discovered defect. The radiologist's final diagnosis was that Lauren's descending aorta and iliac arteries were on the low side of normal. We were absolutely thrilled. Once again, we were shown that there is only One that can decide our child's future.
The entire cardiology staff thought Lauren could not live with this defect. This is just another example of how prayer, faith, and trust can change things. When you are handed a devastating blow, just remember, that God doesn't just hand out one miracle per family; in our case, and many others, He's handed us many.
A New Discovery
Under the chapter titled "Discovering Your Child has a Heart Defect"
Three months after Lauren's first open heart surgery, we were sure we had already received the worst news that we could possibly get. That news was discovering Lauren had several heart defects, and that she would have several surgeries.
At a routine checkup, Lauren was 3 1/2 months old, her cardiologist decided that Lauren needed a heart cath to see if she was ready for the second surgery. Lauren's heart function was getting worse, and her doctor felt it was time. Two weeks later, we arrived at ambulatory surgery to have Lauren's first heart cath. It was almost as hard as having her go back for surgery the first time. We got through handing her to anesthesia, and we waited in the waiting room while the cath was done. The cardiologist that performed the heart cath came out several hours later and called us into the family room.
He went on to explain her lung artery pressures, and other things that my husband and I were still learning the meanings of. He explained that, "her pressures across her chest were a little off, but not much. But, when I measured the pressure difference between her chest and legs, the pressures were way off. I decided to go up her other leg to look at her descending aorta, and this is what I found." He showed us the pictures, but we didn't know what to look for. He pointed out her descending aorta and all of her iliac arteries (arteries that extend off the descending aorta and supply blood/oxygen to the lower organs) were very small. He told us that he had already shown the pictures to Lauren's cardiologist and her heart surgeon. They all agreed that her heart function was getting worse because her heart was working so hard to supply the lower organs through the small arteries. They decided that the second surgery would not help her and neither would a transplant. A new heart would eventually wear out as well.
My husband and I sat there once again, completely devastated. It took days for the news to sink in, and I'm not sure that it ever actually did. A couple of days later, we decided to go about life the best we could; she was still the same baby we had taken to the hospital.
Lauren's cardiologist called us up five days after the cath to talk to us. She said basically the same things, but that they were hoping for the impossible--that the heart cath was wrong. She added a new medicine and increased two of Lauren's other meds. She told us she wasn't giving up, but most likely, we would lose her within the next few months. She scheduled a ct scan for one month later. She wanted something to compare the heart cath pictures to.
Jeannie Reynolds
(870)942-0832 jordan12694@alltel.net
Title Proposal for Chicken Soup for the Soul Books
Proposed Title: Chicken Soup for the Mended Hearts' Soul
Chicken Soup for the CHD Families' Soul
"A New Discovery" page 2
We had the ct scan done, and still had to wait for the results. During this time, we gave Lauren a six month birthday party, and our oldest daughter, Jordan, decided to be homeschooled for her fourth grade year so she could be with Lauren as much as possible.
Finally, seven weeks after receiving the latest news, Lauren's cardiologist called us to come in. She told us the radiologist had studied Lauren's pictures for weeks before coming to the conclusion that she could, in fact, live with this newly discovered defect. The radiologist's final diagnosis was that Lauren's descending aorta and iliac arteries were on the low side of normal. We were absolutely thrilled. Once again, we were shown that there is only One that can decide our child's future.
The entire cardiology staff thought Lauren could not live with this defect. This is just another example of how prayer, faith, and trust can change things. When you are handed a devastating blow, just remember, that God doesn't just hand out one miracle per family; in our case, and many others, He's handed us many.
It Would be a Miracle.........
Remember-I sent in this proposal a few years back. The info is outdated but the idea is the same. This short story was intended to be under the chapter "Discovering Your Child has a Heart Defect".
Jeannie Reynolds
(870)942-0832 jordan12694@alltel.net
Title Proposal for Chicken Soup for the Soul Books
Proposed Title: Chicken Soup for the Mended Hearts Soul
Chicken Soup for the CHD Families' Soul
It Would be a Miracle
Under the chapter titled "Discovering Your Child has a Heart Defect"
"She's sick, very sick." No matter what we face in the future, that moment the doctor uttered those words will stand out to me more than anything else ever will. Discovering your child has a heart defect is one of those life-defining moments that I wouldn't wish on anyone. What do they mean by sick? Lauren was 8 days old. She was born on a Thursday, and by Saturday, we were taking her home. By Wednesday, she started showing signs that something was wrong. Nothing alarming stood out; I began questioning her color and fast breathing. She still ate and slept fine. Thursday afternoon it became apparent that I did need to consult her pediatrician. He didn't receive the messages I left for him during the day, so at ten o'clock that night, I called him at home. We both agreed that it sounded like Lauren had colic. She had the classic symptoms: crying, but not inconsolable, and more importantly, drawing her legs up to her stomach. He told me to have her there first thing Friday morning.
He took one look at her, and told us to take her to Arkansas Children's Hospital through the er. He would phone and let them know we were on our way. My husband and I thought our pediatrician was being a little extra cautious. However, we completely trusted his judgment. We still thought we were going to be bringing her home a few hours later with a change in formula or maybe a round of antibiotics.
Four hours of testing everything that could be tested, a chest x-ray showed Lauren's right ventricle enlarged. The er doctors immediately called down cardiology. An echo was done, and their immediate diagnosis was coarctation of the aorta. We had no idea what anything meant. The cardiologist told us we could walk with them up to CVICU when they took Lauren. He showed us to the waiting room, and told us he'd come back and talk to us after they had assessed Lauren more.
Two hours later, he came out and told us that she was very sick. In the simplest of terms, her body was in cardiac shock due to lack of oxygen. She was ultimately diagnosed with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. They had put her on the ventilator, and if she made it through the night and became stable, she was facing 5-6 open-heart surgeries. Most of you reading this, know this devastation--the first time you see your child in the hospital bed, surrounded by machines. Your only comfort is the fact that they are unaware of what is going on around them.
Another cardiologist was in her room the first time we went to see her. I asked him what her chances were of becoming stable and surviving all the surgeries she needed. His response was "It would be a miracle".
Two years later, I'm here to tell you that miracles do happen. Even in the most dire situations, God will give you the strength to get through. Lauren has had her share of bumps in the road. She's been on and off the transplant list, has had two open-heart surgeries, and 5 heart caths. We're not sure what her future holds, but we do know that God will walk along with us.
Jeannie Reynolds
(870)942-0832 jordan12694@alltel.net
Title Proposal for Chicken Soup for the Soul Books
Proposed Title: Chicken Soup for the Mended Hearts Soul
Chicken Soup for the CHD Families' Soul
It Would be a Miracle
Under the chapter titled "Discovering Your Child has a Heart Defect"
"She's sick, very sick." No matter what we face in the future, that moment the doctor uttered those words will stand out to me more than anything else ever will. Discovering your child has a heart defect is one of those life-defining moments that I wouldn't wish on anyone. What do they mean by sick? Lauren was 8 days old. She was born on a Thursday, and by Saturday, we were taking her home. By Wednesday, she started showing signs that something was wrong. Nothing alarming stood out; I began questioning her color and fast breathing. She still ate and slept fine. Thursday afternoon it became apparent that I did need to consult her pediatrician. He didn't receive the messages I left for him during the day, so at ten o'clock that night, I called him at home. We both agreed that it sounded like Lauren had colic. She had the classic symptoms: crying, but not inconsolable, and more importantly, drawing her legs up to her stomach. He told me to have her there first thing Friday morning.
He took one look at her, and told us to take her to Arkansas Children's Hospital through the er. He would phone and let them know we were on our way. My husband and I thought our pediatrician was being a little extra cautious. However, we completely trusted his judgment. We still thought we were going to be bringing her home a few hours later with a change in formula or maybe a round of antibiotics.
Four hours of testing everything that could be tested, a chest x-ray showed Lauren's right ventricle enlarged. The er doctors immediately called down cardiology. An echo was done, and their immediate diagnosis was coarctation of the aorta. We had no idea what anything meant. The cardiologist told us we could walk with them up to CVICU when they took Lauren. He showed us to the waiting room, and told us he'd come back and talk to us after they had assessed Lauren more.
Two hours later, he came out and told us that she was very sick. In the simplest of terms, her body was in cardiac shock due to lack of oxygen. She was ultimately diagnosed with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. They had put her on the ventilator, and if she made it through the night and became stable, she was facing 5-6 open-heart surgeries. Most of you reading this, know this devastation--the first time you see your child in the hospital bed, surrounded by machines. Your only comfort is the fact that they are unaware of what is going on around them.
Another cardiologist was in her room the first time we went to see her. I asked him what her chances were of becoming stable and surviving all the surgeries she needed. His response was "It would be a miracle".
Two years later, I'm here to tell you that miracles do happen. Even in the most dire situations, God will give you the strength to get through. Lauren has had her share of bumps in the road. She's been on and off the transplant list, has had two open-heart surgeries, and 5 heart caths. We're not sure what her future holds, but we do know that God will walk along with us.
Princess of the CVICU
I'd written this story to show the stupid CSFS people an idea of what could go under a chapter titled 'There's Still Room for Laughter'.
At two years old, Lauren's reputation precedes her. All of her doctors and nurses know exactly what to expect during Lauren's checkups. Crying, pushing away, and the occasional "No!" are all part of the norm, and they eventually lead to complete hysteria. We've even went as far as having to take her to the er during a swallow study. Her sats dropped, and her blood pressure sky-rocketed; only to discover, there was nothing wrong-she was just mad! However, no one can blame her; Lauren has been through more than most adults in her little life.
During her second hospital stay, at fifteen months old, her nurses and techs had nicknamed her "Princess of the CVICU". Whenever a doctor, nurse, or therapist would walk into her room, she would immediately point at the door--letting them know they weren't welcome!
Eventually, we were moved across the hall after a grueling 5 ½ weeks in cv. Our day-shift tech, Shirley, had to come in every four hours and check Lauren's vitals. She would sing and dance, but no matter what she tried, Lauren would become hysterical. We would still manage to get her vitals. At close to seven weeks, we were finally nearing our last few days in the hospital. Lauren had decided that she'd had enough. Even though the doctors had agreed that one blood pressure per day would be enough, Lauren wouldn't even oblige to that. I will never forget Miss Shirley coming in for the last time to check Lauren's vitals. Lauren fought with everything she had. Finally, Miss Shirley walked over to the door and loudly proclaimed to the nurses' station, "Miss Lauren is refusing her vitals!". Needless to say, Lauren got her way!
Lauren's strong will has definitely gotten her through the last two years. Her pediatrician assures me that children eventually learn the difference between the people that are going to hurt them or make them uncomfortable and the ones that aren't. However, I'm having my doubts about Lauren.
At two years old, Lauren's reputation precedes her. All of her doctors and nurses know exactly what to expect during Lauren's checkups. Crying, pushing away, and the occasional "No!" are all part of the norm, and they eventually lead to complete hysteria. We've even went as far as having to take her to the er during a swallow study. Her sats dropped, and her blood pressure sky-rocketed; only to discover, there was nothing wrong-she was just mad! However, no one can blame her; Lauren has been through more than most adults in her little life.
During her second hospital stay, at fifteen months old, her nurses and techs had nicknamed her "Princess of the CVICU". Whenever a doctor, nurse, or therapist would walk into her room, she would immediately point at the door--letting them know they weren't welcome!
Eventually, we were moved across the hall after a grueling 5 ½ weeks in cv. Our day-shift tech, Shirley, had to come in every four hours and check Lauren's vitals. She would sing and dance, but no matter what she tried, Lauren would become hysterical. We would still manage to get her vitals. At close to seven weeks, we were finally nearing our last few days in the hospital. Lauren had decided that she'd had enough. Even though the doctors had agreed that one blood pressure per day would be enough, Lauren wouldn't even oblige to that. I will never forget Miss Shirley coming in for the last time to check Lauren's vitals. Lauren fought with everything she had. Finally, Miss Shirley walked over to the door and loudly proclaimed to the nurses' station, "Miss Lauren is refusing her vitals!". Needless to say, Lauren got her way!
Lauren's strong will has definitely gotten her through the last two years. Her pediatrician assures me that children eventually learn the difference between the people that are going to hurt them or make them uncomfortable and the ones that aren't. However, I'm having my doubts about Lauren.
And here we go.........
First I'm gonna try to come up with a few things to blog about. This will be my reference list. If you have any ideas-feel free to leave a comment :)
I know for certain I want to blog about the Haleigh Cummings' case. That poor baby has been missing now for 58 days :(
I know this kind of stuff is sometimes hard to read - but my entry will not be - you know who you are :)
Another thing I want to share is about a few astrologers I've been reading about who were right on about a few recent cases..........not a big believer in that stuff but when you read it with your own eyes and then it turns out to be true-it's kind of hard to ignore.
Let's see...what else........Oh! I thought I'd share a couple of stories that I had written for my Chicken Soup for the Soul book idea. Speaking of---stupid people---can't believe they turned me down :(
I think I'll post a couple of those right now!
BTW if you don't comment every once in a while-I'll think noone is reading-then I'll lose my oomph to post.
I know for certain I want to blog about the Haleigh Cummings' case. That poor baby has been missing now for 58 days :(
I know this kind of stuff is sometimes hard to read - but my entry will not be - you know who you are :)
Another thing I want to share is about a few astrologers I've been reading about who were right on about a few recent cases..........not a big believer in that stuff but when you read it with your own eyes and then it turns out to be true-it's kind of hard to ignore.
Let's see...what else........Oh! I thought I'd share a couple of stories that I had written for my Chicken Soup for the Soul book idea. Speaking of---stupid people---can't believe they turned me down :(
I think I'll post a couple of those right now!
BTW if you don't comment every once in a while-I'll think noone is reading-then I'll lose my oomph to post.
Monday, March 30, 2009
If Angel can do it, so can I..............
Reading Angel's blog the past week has reminded me of how much I enjoyed blogging as well. It's been a long time, and I really haven't had much to blog about. Surely, I can think of something :)
So check back-----------should be something up and readable soon!
So check back-----------should be something up and readable soon!
Monday, September 18, 2006
How's about an uplifting post?
I'm gonna write about my 2 girls......
Jordan is honestly every mother's dream....a wonderful combination of intelligence, adventure, integrity, emotion, and zest for life. I simply cannot imagine my life without her. My memories of her toddlerhood are so strong they seem as if they were just yesterday. She had the sweetest little voice....she was completely in love with "Pooh and all them". She loved anything Disney...the store, movies, animals, and finally at the age of 5...the place. Absolutely one of the best times of my life was when she was 2-4 years old....so much fun. Now, she's growing up, against my wishes, but it keeps happening. I love that she confides in me with even the smallest things. She reminds me so much of myself at her age. She is always going to be my precious little angel.
Lauren...well just typing her name bring me to tears...this child is so amazing. My friend from the hospital called me today....her little boy has had 3 heart surgeries among so many other things wrong with him....she and her husband are overjoyed that at the age of 3 1/2, he's learned to hold his sippie cup. He has so far to go, if he does indeed overcome the many obstacles that lay ahead of him. She asks about Lauren...and for a minute I feel bad that she has met and surpassed all of the normal milestones. I tell her she's doing well and all the while I know she can hear Lauren talking the whole time we're on the phone...and I know she longs for the day that her little boy says just one word. I've been so blessed. And, there are so many times I'm reminded of why she's mine....I can handle it, I have handled it and I'll continue to for as long as I live. My living room carpet is riddled with every kind of stain imaginable--grape koolaid, blue koolaid, red popsicle, you name it....but I wouldn't have it any other way. She's my little daredevil, my messy one, and undoubtedly one of the bravest people I will ever know. Every single time she opens her mouth, I'm amazed at how precious she is....today she ran up to me and said "Oh my gosh mom, my diaper!" lol --- it needed adjusting :)
UGH---so much for uplifting lol---well i guess it was better than whining or drudging up bad memories :)
Jordan is honestly every mother's dream....a wonderful combination of intelligence, adventure, integrity, emotion, and zest for life. I simply cannot imagine my life without her. My memories of her toddlerhood are so strong they seem as if they were just yesterday. She had the sweetest little voice....she was completely in love with "Pooh and all them". She loved anything Disney...the store, movies, animals, and finally at the age of 5...the place. Absolutely one of the best times of my life was when she was 2-4 years old....so much fun. Now, she's growing up, against my wishes, but it keeps happening. I love that she confides in me with even the smallest things. She reminds me so much of myself at her age. She is always going to be my precious little angel.
Lauren...well just typing her name bring me to tears...this child is so amazing. My friend from the hospital called me today....her little boy has had 3 heart surgeries among so many other things wrong with him....she and her husband are overjoyed that at the age of 3 1/2, he's learned to hold his sippie cup. He has so far to go, if he does indeed overcome the many obstacles that lay ahead of him. She asks about Lauren...and for a minute I feel bad that she has met and surpassed all of the normal milestones. I tell her she's doing well and all the while I know she can hear Lauren talking the whole time we're on the phone...and I know she longs for the day that her little boy says just one word. I've been so blessed. And, there are so many times I'm reminded of why she's mine....I can handle it, I have handled it and I'll continue to for as long as I live. My living room carpet is riddled with every kind of stain imaginable--grape koolaid, blue koolaid, red popsicle, you name it....but I wouldn't have it any other way. She's my little daredevil, my messy one, and undoubtedly one of the bravest people I will ever know. Every single time she opens her mouth, I'm amazed at how precious she is....today she ran up to me and said "Oh my gosh mom, my diaper!" lol --- it needed adjusting :)
UGH---so much for uplifting lol---well i guess it was better than whining or drudging up bad memories :)
Monday, September 04, 2006
Believing................
So, I'm constantly amazed when I hear that someone doesn't believe in God. I, personally, simply cannot imagine it. The new debate board on pw has several that don't believe. Now, for me, it has always been very easy to believe in God. I was introduced to God at a very early age. I went through my early pre-teen stage of "where is He, how do you know He is real, etc.". My parents handled it somewhat well I guess lol---I started believing again. I can still remember vividly going through conviction at 14 years old.....and, I believe everyone goes through it.....unfortunately some either ignore it or don't understand what's happening to them. Jordan just went through it about 6 months ago and was saved. There is nothing in the world more wonderful than knowing that your child has accepted Jesus as their Savior and will live forever with you in heaven.
I don't understand growing up believing and then suddenly stopping. What could possibly happen to someone in their life that makes them give up on the one thing that could see them through? I look at what Lauren's been through---a parent's worst fear---it would've been so easy to blame God; instead my husband and I took the harder road and put it all in His hands. Why do I say it's the harder road? Because being human, it's much easier to be angry at someone rather than accept what they've handed you.
Now, the main thing that has my mind reeling about all this stuff is a few women on the debate board state that they don't believe in God. But, in the same breath will say -- I hope that death isn't the end....or that they believe in reincarnation. Why is it feasible to believe in something like reincarnation but so hard to believe that God exists? That makes absolutely no sense to me. Then there are others that believe death is the end---that's it---you die and become dirt and worm food. What a depressing thought. How can anyone live this life knowing that their actions do not matter.....and that's what it boils down to.....yes, their loved ones they leave behind will remember them and perhaps their grandchildren...but after that they're not in anyone's memory. Nothing about them lives on. So, why not lie, cheat, and steal? especially if you find a way to not get caught? doesn't matter----you'll never have to answer for it.......some will answer with morals --- being remembered as a good person---really, does it matter? what will you care once your gone?
Seriously blows my mind.
With that being said..........I guess the bottom line between believers and non-believers is which would you rather be...............a believer that turns out to be wrong (how would they know) or a non-believer that turns out to be wrong (they'll most surely know)?
That's not why I believe......but I don't understand how any intelligent person can choose the latter. Maybe taking that simple step is the way to getting back on track with God.
And then the very bottom line to me is: it's just so simple! How can you look at your child and say there is no God....that he/she just came from millions of years of worms turning into bugs turning into fish, etc.......I just don't get it.
Maybe it's easier for me.........every single prayer of mine has been answered. Every single one. Do I pray for money, fancy cars, huge mansion.......no.........do I pray for Lauren to be cured? No......God made her this way for a reason. Do I pray that she'll be able to live with it and have a long/happy life? yes, I do about every 5 minutes of every single day. Does praying for it more than once mean I don't think He'll follow through with my request? No----just letting Him know how serious I am about it :)
Whew---just wanted this out :) Hope I didn't offend anyone..........just how I feel about it!
I don't understand growing up believing and then suddenly stopping. What could possibly happen to someone in their life that makes them give up on the one thing that could see them through? I look at what Lauren's been through---a parent's worst fear---it would've been so easy to blame God; instead my husband and I took the harder road and put it all in His hands. Why do I say it's the harder road? Because being human, it's much easier to be angry at someone rather than accept what they've handed you.
Now, the main thing that has my mind reeling about all this stuff is a few women on the debate board state that they don't believe in God. But, in the same breath will say -- I hope that death isn't the end....or that they believe in reincarnation. Why is it feasible to believe in something like reincarnation but so hard to believe that God exists? That makes absolutely no sense to me. Then there are others that believe death is the end---that's it---you die and become dirt and worm food. What a depressing thought. How can anyone live this life knowing that their actions do not matter.....and that's what it boils down to.....yes, their loved ones they leave behind will remember them and perhaps their grandchildren...but after that they're not in anyone's memory. Nothing about them lives on. So, why not lie, cheat, and steal? especially if you find a way to not get caught? doesn't matter----you'll never have to answer for it.......some will answer with morals --- being remembered as a good person---really, does it matter? what will you care once your gone?
Seriously blows my mind.
With that being said..........I guess the bottom line between believers and non-believers is which would you rather be...............a believer that turns out to be wrong (how would they know) or a non-believer that turns out to be wrong (they'll most surely know)?
That's not why I believe......but I don't understand how any intelligent person can choose the latter. Maybe taking that simple step is the way to getting back on track with God.
And then the very bottom line to me is: it's just so simple! How can you look at your child and say there is no God....that he/she just came from millions of years of worms turning into bugs turning into fish, etc.......I just don't get it.
Maybe it's easier for me.........every single prayer of mine has been answered. Every single one. Do I pray for money, fancy cars, huge mansion.......no.........do I pray for Lauren to be cured? No......God made her this way for a reason. Do I pray that she'll be able to live with it and have a long/happy life? yes, I do about every 5 minutes of every single day. Does praying for it more than once mean I don't think He'll follow through with my request? No----just letting Him know how serious I am about it :)
Whew---just wanted this out :) Hope I didn't offend anyone..........just how I feel about it!
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Take Out the Trash Part 3........
Ok let's see if I can finish this up.
Monday, Dr. Marrow says Lauren can go home Tuesday. So Tues morning, I take my time packing up. My mom's there w/us playing w/Lauren. I knew it would be a while before we were discharged. Around 3 that afternoon, Dr. Fasules (the cardio working the east side for the next 2 weeks) and Dr. Francis (a resident) come into Lauren's room. They don't introduce themselves--nothing. Dr. Francis says "so, we're going to turn off the pulse ox machine." And I say "you mean at home?" and she says "No, you're not going home." I say "Dr. Marrow said we could go home today." Dr. Fasules pipes in "No, you're not, and she should've never been sent home in the first place." hmmmmm ok---then he says "I don't know when she'll go home." I then say "Do you know what we've accomplished in the 5 days we've been here?" he replies with "nothing" I said that's right "nothing, noone is worried about anything, why do we need to stay?" he replies with "I would've never sent her home." and then walks out. Ok--I was upset--but didn't make a scene. I unpack and bawl the rest of the day :( Tuesday, around 11:00, Dr. Fasules comes in again w/a nurse. My mom is there again playing w/Lauren. He tells me they want to do another echo. Ok--fine--we start talking and I ask him (a valid question in my opinion) what does he see that all the others didn't see when they discharged her the Thursday before......and here's our conversation:
me--what do you see that everyone else didn't when they discharged her last thursday?
him--well, sometimes doctors don't have a choice when the parent is PESTERING them to go home
me--are you telling me that the only reason they sent my child home is because they felt like i was pestering them?
him--WELL IF YOU PESTER THEM ENOUGH-------all caps cause he was yelling by this time
me--well, if that's the case, then I've got her in the wrong place--and i can't believe you would say something like that to me---she saw 10 different doctors across the hall and they all felt that she was ready to go home---Dr. Marrow told me she was ready to go home from this stay today
him--it sounds to me that you only hear what you want to hear---(then he backtracks) oh I don't know maybe you hear the positive and I hear the negative
me--by this time--i'm livid and we're both yelling---i repeat i can't believe you're talking to me like this---i've never had anyone here act like this
him--well you pestered them to let you go home---then when you get home, you call up here 3 times---you refused to bring her to the east side (stepdown unit) before going home
me---it was never once mentioned that she needed to come to this side---I only called b/c her sats were so low at home
him--well, i need to get someone up here to DEAL with you so I can take care of her
then he would start to walk out and he'd turn around and just keep on----IT WAS AWFUL
I have never ever been so angry in all my life---he basically told me I was only interested in going home and not what was best for Lauren.
So, he finally walks out---and I burst into tears I was so mad....now my mom has trouble hearing---but she knew we were fighting but couldn't understand every single word but she heard enough that she was mad too. A few minutes later---a social worker walks in---yes a social worker ha! I tell her what happened---she says I just can't believe that Dr. D (the one that d/c'd lauren from cvicu) would tell anyone that he was pestered into releasing a patient. I ask her who do I talk to---he's not getting away with this- and she says Dr. Marrow---he is Dr. Fasules' boss. So she calls him and he comes up a couple of hours later to talk to me.
We went into a room to ourselves and he said let's talk about Lauren first....I said ok---he went on to talk about all she'd been through, etc. and how he and the other doctors always talked about how I was always at her bedside, always had faith in them, etc. and yes that's all good to know---but not what i was worried about....then he says ok--tell me what happened---i told him and the nurse that had come in w/dr. fasules and heard the whole thing---was in there w/me and dr. marrow---she kept trying to defend him but couldn't deny the things he had said....dr. marrow was furious.....he said i knew they were releasing Lauren---we all thought she was ready, it didn't have anything to do with you......etc. So he goes and speaks to Dr. Fasules---a few minutes later, dr. fasules comes into lauren's room and starts talking about her echo results--then in the middle of all this he says "what can i say, I was wrong".......well, i knew that was all i was going to get out of him so ok fine.......but from that moment on, he lost total control of Lauren. Her surgeon stepped in and took over the decisions---her sats no longer were an issue (like Dr. Fasules was so worried about) and guess what became the issue??????????????
her incision---yes, the only thing my dh and I had asked them about every single day since we'd arrived---so they put her on an oral antibiotic and we had to stay until the next Monday.
Ok---I just wanted it out---there's noone I despise like this man---imo he is the very saddest, sorriest excuse for a doctor or even a human being. He treated me exactly how I would expect they wished they could treat some of the sorry parents that never come see their child....he will never ever have anything to do w/Lauren again---I don't care what kind of hell me and dh have to raise---it's been over a year and I still cannot believe I didn't do more. If I had it to do over; I wouldn't have slept until he was fired---there is just no excuse.
**For the record, cause I'm sure you're wondering----my dh never could catch him lol and it's a very good thing, I have no doubt....dh would come see us, doctor would be nowhere around.....ok if you had the patience to read all of this -- thankyou :)
Monday, Dr. Marrow says Lauren can go home Tuesday. So Tues morning, I take my time packing up. My mom's there w/us playing w/Lauren. I knew it would be a while before we were discharged. Around 3 that afternoon, Dr. Fasules (the cardio working the east side for the next 2 weeks) and Dr. Francis (a resident) come into Lauren's room. They don't introduce themselves--nothing. Dr. Francis says "so, we're going to turn off the pulse ox machine." And I say "you mean at home?" and she says "No, you're not going home." I say "Dr. Marrow said we could go home today." Dr. Fasules pipes in "No, you're not, and she should've never been sent home in the first place." hmmmmm ok---then he says "I don't know when she'll go home." I then say "Do you know what we've accomplished in the 5 days we've been here?" he replies with "nothing" I said that's right "nothing, noone is worried about anything, why do we need to stay?" he replies with "I would've never sent her home." and then walks out. Ok--I was upset--but didn't make a scene. I unpack and bawl the rest of the day :( Tuesday, around 11:00, Dr. Fasules comes in again w/a nurse. My mom is there again playing w/Lauren. He tells me they want to do another echo. Ok--fine--we start talking and I ask him (a valid question in my opinion) what does he see that all the others didn't see when they discharged her the Thursday before......and here's our conversation:
me--what do you see that everyone else didn't when they discharged her last thursday?
him--well, sometimes doctors don't have a choice when the parent is PESTERING them to go home
me--are you telling me that the only reason they sent my child home is because they felt like i was pestering them?
him--WELL IF YOU PESTER THEM ENOUGH-------all caps cause he was yelling by this time
me--well, if that's the case, then I've got her in the wrong place--and i can't believe you would say something like that to me---she saw 10 different doctors across the hall and they all felt that she was ready to go home---Dr. Marrow told me she was ready to go home from this stay today
him--it sounds to me that you only hear what you want to hear---(then he backtracks) oh I don't know maybe you hear the positive and I hear the negative
me--by this time--i'm livid and we're both yelling---i repeat i can't believe you're talking to me like this---i've never had anyone here act like this
him--well you pestered them to let you go home---then when you get home, you call up here 3 times---you refused to bring her to the east side (stepdown unit) before going home
me---it was never once mentioned that she needed to come to this side---I only called b/c her sats were so low at home
him--well, i need to get someone up here to DEAL with you so I can take care of her
then he would start to walk out and he'd turn around and just keep on----IT WAS AWFUL
I have never ever been so angry in all my life---he basically told me I was only interested in going home and not what was best for Lauren.
So, he finally walks out---and I burst into tears I was so mad....now my mom has trouble hearing---but she knew we were fighting but couldn't understand every single word but she heard enough that she was mad too. A few minutes later---a social worker walks in---yes a social worker ha! I tell her what happened---she says I just can't believe that Dr. D (the one that d/c'd lauren from cvicu) would tell anyone that he was pestered into releasing a patient. I ask her who do I talk to---he's not getting away with this- and she says Dr. Marrow---he is Dr. Fasules' boss. So she calls him and he comes up a couple of hours later to talk to me.
We went into a room to ourselves and he said let's talk about Lauren first....I said ok---he went on to talk about all she'd been through, etc. and how he and the other doctors always talked about how I was always at her bedside, always had faith in them, etc. and yes that's all good to know---but not what i was worried about....then he says ok--tell me what happened---i told him and the nurse that had come in w/dr. fasules and heard the whole thing---was in there w/me and dr. marrow---she kept trying to defend him but couldn't deny the things he had said....dr. marrow was furious.....he said i knew they were releasing Lauren---we all thought she was ready, it didn't have anything to do with you......etc. So he goes and speaks to Dr. Fasules---a few minutes later, dr. fasules comes into lauren's room and starts talking about her echo results--then in the middle of all this he says "what can i say, I was wrong".......well, i knew that was all i was going to get out of him so ok fine.......but from that moment on, he lost total control of Lauren. Her surgeon stepped in and took over the decisions---her sats no longer were an issue (like Dr. Fasules was so worried about) and guess what became the issue??????????????
her incision---yes, the only thing my dh and I had asked them about every single day since we'd arrived---so they put her on an oral antibiotic and we had to stay until the next Monday.
Ok---I just wanted it out---there's noone I despise like this man---imo he is the very saddest, sorriest excuse for a doctor or even a human being. He treated me exactly how I would expect they wished they could treat some of the sorry parents that never come see their child....he will never ever have anything to do w/Lauren again---I don't care what kind of hell me and dh have to raise---it's been over a year and I still cannot believe I didn't do more. If I had it to do over; I wouldn't have slept until he was fired---there is just no excuse.
**For the record, cause I'm sure you're wondering----my dh never could catch him lol and it's a very good thing, I have no doubt....dh would come see us, doctor would be nowhere around.....ok if you had the patience to read all of this -- thankyou :)
Taking Out the Trash part 2........
So, Wednesday morning comes, Lauren's feeds are back to normal. Dr. D comes in and examines her and walks over to me and here is our conversation:
him--we've decided Lauren needs to go home on oxygen
me--i don't understand, she did great yesterday and last night (sats were higher than ever)
him--i know, but we've discussed it and we feel that she needs it
me--(bit discouraged but not angry) ok--i need to learn that things change daily, even though i don't understand---so you've decided she needs oxygen and her feeds are fine---what's keeping her here now?
him--well, she ran a fever sunday night (um, yeah--wasn't too worried about that monday--now, NOW i realize why he was hesitant to release her but he just would not come out and say i don't feel that she's ready--instead he kept giving me stupid excuses)
me--ok when do u think she'll be ready to go home (now, I'm not mad and he knows it---he realizes I'm upset w/the whole oxygen thing)
him--tomorrow--she can go home tomorrow
me--ok great
him--i knew you were upset because you would not look me in the eye--(hehe he and i have hardly ever held anything back--he's been w/lauren from day one)
me--yes, i wasn't angry--just upset
him--i completely understand, now, one more thing--do you want to go home from here in the morning or from across the hall (now across the hall is the norm for getting ready to go home but noone had ever mentioned lauren needing to go there at all---she was weeks out of surgery, there was nothing for me to learn, etc.)
me--well if you need this room then across the hall, but if you don't--it's much easier to go home from this side
him---ok--you'll go home from this side
From that minute on----everyone was getting things ready w/o me having to ask for a single things---the head nurse was filling out lauren's prescriptions, calling and having oxygen delivered the next day, etc.----all was going good.
The next day--we take her home--she was so excited all the way home. Get home and after a couple of hours she is just not acting right---sats were very low. By that night i decided to call the cardiologist on call---he said he wasn't worried that it was probably just the transition from hospital to home---well then she spiked a temp--called him back---still not worried. Ok--next morning--i simply wanted her cardiologist to know how things were going---i was getting high 50's on her feet and low 60's on her hands---very very low. They call back---she needs to be re-admitted.....ok---this time on the east side (the not so sick side where you room in and take care of them but still get interrupted/woke up constantly).
Get up there--by now it's july 1st....Dr. Frazier comes in and she says i'm just going to watch her---and just leave her alone--ok great.
A couple of hours later, Lauren rolls over from her side after being asleep and her chest incision looks absolutely awful---we get the nurse, she gets the doctor---not worried--we'll just keep and eye on it (remember this).
The weekend was awful---ended up getting a temp, they insisted on iv antibiotics---took several sticks ugh---not a night i'd relive for no amount of money. Weekend goes by--noone is concerned at all w/her incision, her sats---nothing. Sunday night her iv goes bad. I refuse another one because her cultures are growing nothing. Argue w/the resident on call that not only cannot make the correct calls for a heart patient but probably couldn't even spell lauren's defect---she ends up calling the cardiologist and gets overruled :) Monday--Dr. Marrow comes in (he's the chief cardiologist) and says--let's keep her one more night and see how she does then she can go home tomorrow---still noone is worried about her incision or sats.
Here's where the good doctor comes in. And, I'm gonna have to finish this in a little bit---Lauren's awake and we gotta go get Jordan :)
him--we've decided Lauren needs to go home on oxygen
me--i don't understand, she did great yesterday and last night (sats were higher than ever)
him--i know, but we've discussed it and we feel that she needs it
me--(bit discouraged but not angry) ok--i need to learn that things change daily, even though i don't understand---so you've decided she needs oxygen and her feeds are fine---what's keeping her here now?
him--well, she ran a fever sunday night (um, yeah--wasn't too worried about that monday--now, NOW i realize why he was hesitant to release her but he just would not come out and say i don't feel that she's ready--instead he kept giving me stupid excuses)
me--ok when do u think she'll be ready to go home (now, I'm not mad and he knows it---he realizes I'm upset w/the whole oxygen thing)
him--tomorrow--she can go home tomorrow
me--ok great
him--i knew you were upset because you would not look me in the eye--(hehe he and i have hardly ever held anything back--he's been w/lauren from day one)
me--yes, i wasn't angry--just upset
him--i completely understand, now, one more thing--do you want to go home from here in the morning or from across the hall (now across the hall is the norm for getting ready to go home but noone had ever mentioned lauren needing to go there at all---she was weeks out of surgery, there was nothing for me to learn, etc.)
me--well if you need this room then across the hall, but if you don't--it's much easier to go home from this side
him---ok--you'll go home from this side
From that minute on----everyone was getting things ready w/o me having to ask for a single things---the head nurse was filling out lauren's prescriptions, calling and having oxygen delivered the next day, etc.----all was going good.
The next day--we take her home--she was so excited all the way home. Get home and after a couple of hours she is just not acting right---sats were very low. By that night i decided to call the cardiologist on call---he said he wasn't worried that it was probably just the transition from hospital to home---well then she spiked a temp--called him back---still not worried. Ok--next morning--i simply wanted her cardiologist to know how things were going---i was getting high 50's on her feet and low 60's on her hands---very very low. They call back---she needs to be re-admitted.....ok---this time on the east side (the not so sick side where you room in and take care of them but still get interrupted/woke up constantly).
Get up there--by now it's july 1st....Dr. Frazier comes in and she says i'm just going to watch her---and just leave her alone--ok great.
A couple of hours later, Lauren rolls over from her side after being asleep and her chest incision looks absolutely awful---we get the nurse, she gets the doctor---not worried--we'll just keep and eye on it (remember this).
The weekend was awful---ended up getting a temp, they insisted on iv antibiotics---took several sticks ugh---not a night i'd relive for no amount of money. Weekend goes by--noone is concerned at all w/her incision, her sats---nothing. Sunday night her iv goes bad. I refuse another one because her cultures are growing nothing. Argue w/the resident on call that not only cannot make the correct calls for a heart patient but probably couldn't even spell lauren's defect---she ends up calling the cardiologist and gets overruled :) Monday--Dr. Marrow comes in (he's the chief cardiologist) and says--let's keep her one more night and see how she does then she can go home tomorrow---still noone is worried about her incision or sats.
Here's where the good doctor comes in. And, I'm gonna have to finish this in a little bit---Lauren's awake and we gotta go get Jordan :)
Taking Out the Trash.......
I don't know about the rest of you (well I'm pretty sure you'll agree) but the absolute worst thing anyone could ever do is to question my parenting or my intentions as a mom. That's the best way I can explain why this incident has bothered me so much for so long---I feel like this person did exactly that or tried to. This happened while Lauren was in the hospital last year. Now, this is going to be long................grab a snack and go pee before you get to comfortable :)
First some background info......now remember, we had already had a 2-month stay at children's right after Lauren was born. During that time and after we brought her home, I tried to learn as much as I could about her heart defects, etc. I talked to many different people. And, I learned what was/wasn't appropriate with the many different doctors/nurses/surgeons. Prior to her 2nd surgery last summer, we had already been through her first cath where they told us they found another defect that she couldn't live with--surgery, transplant, nothing would help her--and we only had a few months left with her. After discovering it wasn't as bad as they thought--we lived through many months on the transplant list, all of the pre-listing testing, her surgeon committing suicide--the list just goes on. So--in summary--we had been through a lot more than most heart patients--and we had learned a lot.
Now--I met every kind of parent you can imagine while sitting in that waiting room. I met the parent(s) that only called to check on their child--never visited (this is from talking to nurses); I met the parents that actually enjoyed the waiting room--the living conditions were probably 100% better than what they had at home--just a big party; I met the parents who cried for their sick baby but after having been in the hospital for weeks couldn't tell me their child's heart defect(s); and then there is me and my husband and more like us that cry for their child but also want to know everything they can--these are the families that I bonded with. But, I can clearly see the type of people these doctors/surgeons etc. deal with on a daily basis.
Now--here is how I dealt with doctors, etc. The CVICU is a scary, highly stressful environment. These babies are just about as sick as you can get. The doctors are almost always stretched to the limit. I learned very quickly and not by force that if you want/need to speak to the doctor--wait until they approach you because they almost always will or tell your child's nurse that you would like to speak to them when they get the chance. I treated them all with the upmost respect and all except for this one I was treated the exact same way. These people were saving my child's life or at least trying everything in their power to do so---they deserved to be treated as such. And, I did---I'm not trying to brag-I'm honestly trying to just set the stage-I'll just forever be in debt to all these people...and I let them know it. If one came up with a good idea, etc. I let them know how much I appreciated them.
Now--a little more background but I'm getting there. A routine echo/checkup in February last year showed much improved heart function. Lauren's cardiologist came into the room actually "giddy" and I would never use that word for this woman---all business :) She wanted to try another heart cath and see if Lauren was finally ready for the 2nd stage that she should've had months earlier. Finally get it done in April---the whole cardio staff was certain she was ready for it. So, she became inactive on the transplant list and the surgery date was scheduled. Went in on May 26th for preop and had the surgery the 27th. She did great---much better than my husband and I expected. The next couple of days she was doing pretty good---her sats weren't too great but they hoped they would increase with time. On the 1st she started going downhill and her cardiologist which happened to be the doctor on the unit for the week felt that she needed to be put back on the vent. They decided that afternoon to take her back for a cath to see why she wasn't responding well to the surgery. Nothing showed up---she was getting sicker. Took her back again on Friday to put in a stent in her pulmonary artery--thought this would help--it didn't. For the next 2 weeks, Lauren was intubated and completely paralyzed. They had her on a drug so that she didn't wake up or even flinch. Her numbers were still bad---several times her numbers would bottom out and her room would be swarming with doctors. After about a week and a half of being so sick, she bottomed out one day and her surgeon, Dr. Imamura, decided to take her back and completely undo the surgery. If it had been 5 minutes later she would've had that surgery, but they had to wait on the previous or patient to come out. Her numbers went back up and everyone backed off. That afternoon, they met and decided she needed a heart. Her surgeon and cardiologist came into her room and said she'd just been up'd to a status 1A--in the hospital on the vent. She stayed this way for about a week....now each week a new cardiologist or intensivist (intensive care doctor) would come in--they have a staff of about 10 that works this unit. So, Dr. Buddha came in one Monday---it was his week---knew him well. He decided to start trying different vent settings, rolling her over, etc. Everything he would come up with-worked-we kept seeing improvement. By the end of his week, he took her off the paralytic drug and let her wake up--she was still intubated. After waking up good, she showed her dad and I itsy bitsy spider---we were crying and laughing--it was wonderful--we had no idea how her mind would be--even the docs weren't sure. The next day she was extabated and on the road to recovery. We spent two more weeks in cvicu--they were messing with different meds, oxygen intake, her feeds, etc. I never once asked anyone when we were going home. Never...I knew how sick she had been...at one point her surgeon and another doc came in her room while she was so sick and told me that they had never had one this sick come out of it on their own. So, even though I'd only been home once in about 30-35 days, I wasn't going to hurry them. Our last week in cvicu went like this: Dr. D (his name is super long) came in for his week. Knew him-liked him very much.........I would happen to be back there (well I usually was constantly now that she was awake and the nurses didn't mind b/c I was who she wanted) when he would make his rounds so on Monday morning, after examining her, he came over to me and said "All we like is getting her feeds back up to where they need to be and deciding whether or not she needs to go home on oxygen." Ok great! He adds "I think she'll be ready to go home this week." Ok--someone has said go home---now I'm getting antsy--I won't lie about that. Tuesday morning, he comes in and says let's take her off oxygen today and see how she does. I walked her around the hospital all day. She did great.
Ok gonna post this one, I'm afraid I'll lose it.
First some background info......now remember, we had already had a 2-month stay at children's right after Lauren was born. During that time and after we brought her home, I tried to learn as much as I could about her heart defects, etc. I talked to many different people. And, I learned what was/wasn't appropriate with the many different doctors/nurses/surgeons. Prior to her 2nd surgery last summer, we had already been through her first cath where they told us they found another defect that she couldn't live with--surgery, transplant, nothing would help her--and we only had a few months left with her. After discovering it wasn't as bad as they thought--we lived through many months on the transplant list, all of the pre-listing testing, her surgeon committing suicide--the list just goes on. So--in summary--we had been through a lot more than most heart patients--and we had learned a lot.
Now--I met every kind of parent you can imagine while sitting in that waiting room. I met the parent(s) that only called to check on their child--never visited (this is from talking to nurses); I met the parents that actually enjoyed the waiting room--the living conditions were probably 100% better than what they had at home--just a big party; I met the parents who cried for their sick baby but after having been in the hospital for weeks couldn't tell me their child's heart defect(s); and then there is me and my husband and more like us that cry for their child but also want to know everything they can--these are the families that I bonded with. But, I can clearly see the type of people these doctors/surgeons etc. deal with on a daily basis.
Now--here is how I dealt with doctors, etc. The CVICU is a scary, highly stressful environment. These babies are just about as sick as you can get. The doctors are almost always stretched to the limit. I learned very quickly and not by force that if you want/need to speak to the doctor--wait until they approach you because they almost always will or tell your child's nurse that you would like to speak to them when they get the chance. I treated them all with the upmost respect and all except for this one I was treated the exact same way. These people were saving my child's life or at least trying everything in their power to do so---they deserved to be treated as such. And, I did---I'm not trying to brag-I'm honestly trying to just set the stage-I'll just forever be in debt to all these people...and I let them know it. If one came up with a good idea, etc. I let them know how much I appreciated them.
Now--a little more background but I'm getting there. A routine echo/checkup in February last year showed much improved heart function. Lauren's cardiologist came into the room actually "giddy" and I would never use that word for this woman---all business :) She wanted to try another heart cath and see if Lauren was finally ready for the 2nd stage that she should've had months earlier. Finally get it done in April---the whole cardio staff was certain she was ready for it. So, she became inactive on the transplant list and the surgery date was scheduled. Went in on May 26th for preop and had the surgery the 27th. She did great---much better than my husband and I expected. The next couple of days she was doing pretty good---her sats weren't too great but they hoped they would increase with time. On the 1st she started going downhill and her cardiologist which happened to be the doctor on the unit for the week felt that she needed to be put back on the vent. They decided that afternoon to take her back for a cath to see why she wasn't responding well to the surgery. Nothing showed up---she was getting sicker. Took her back again on Friday to put in a stent in her pulmonary artery--thought this would help--it didn't. For the next 2 weeks, Lauren was intubated and completely paralyzed. They had her on a drug so that she didn't wake up or even flinch. Her numbers were still bad---several times her numbers would bottom out and her room would be swarming with doctors. After about a week and a half of being so sick, she bottomed out one day and her surgeon, Dr. Imamura, decided to take her back and completely undo the surgery. If it had been 5 minutes later she would've had that surgery, but they had to wait on the previous or patient to come out. Her numbers went back up and everyone backed off. That afternoon, they met and decided she needed a heart. Her surgeon and cardiologist came into her room and said she'd just been up'd to a status 1A--in the hospital on the vent. She stayed this way for about a week....now each week a new cardiologist or intensivist (intensive care doctor) would come in--they have a staff of about 10 that works this unit. So, Dr. Buddha came in one Monday---it was his week---knew him well. He decided to start trying different vent settings, rolling her over, etc. Everything he would come up with-worked-we kept seeing improvement. By the end of his week, he took her off the paralytic drug and let her wake up--she was still intubated. After waking up good, she showed her dad and I itsy bitsy spider---we were crying and laughing--it was wonderful--we had no idea how her mind would be--even the docs weren't sure. The next day she was extabated and on the road to recovery. We spent two more weeks in cvicu--they were messing with different meds, oxygen intake, her feeds, etc. I never once asked anyone when we were going home. Never...I knew how sick she had been...at one point her surgeon and another doc came in her room while she was so sick and told me that they had never had one this sick come out of it on their own. So, even though I'd only been home once in about 30-35 days, I wasn't going to hurry them. Our last week in cvicu went like this: Dr. D (his name is super long) came in for his week. Knew him-liked him very much.........I would happen to be back there (well I usually was constantly now that she was awake and the nurses didn't mind b/c I was who she wanted) when he would make his rounds so on Monday morning, after examining her, he came over to me and said "All we like is getting her feeds back up to where they need to be and deciding whether or not she needs to go home on oxygen." Ok great! He adds "I think she'll be ready to go home this week." Ok--someone has said go home---now I'm getting antsy--I won't lie about that. Tuesday morning, he comes in and says let's take her off oxygen today and see how she does. I walked her around the hospital all day. She did great.
Ok gonna post this one, I'm afraid I'll lose it.
Just because..........
So, Stacey's liberating post on the board got me thinking. I'm really lucky considering some of the things my fellow moms have been through. I was never abused--mentally, physically, or sexually---something that I'm finding out now that I'm an adult is very very rare. My dad was an alcoholic while I was growing up. He cheated on my mom--hit her a few times....but she worshipped the ground he walked on. Luckily, he realized what he was doing and now adores her the way she always has him. I still remember the day he decided to quit drinking for good. I was 15 years old and he put his last beer can up in the kitchen cabinet with the date on it. And, he did---quit, until I got pregnant with Jordan, he took it up again, but it didn't last long. My mom had grown some balls and wasn't going through it again. He's a wonderful dad--he would do everything/anything in his power to make sure my brother and I are happy. And, he's a great grandpa. My two girls have something I never had and that is fantastic grandparents.
My mom---wow---simply the most amazing woman I know. In a world filled with takers she is the biggest giver I know. I can't imagine my life without her....so, to sum it up, I've been very blessed. And my heart goes out to all my friends that have dealt with so much. Although mom and dad won't read this---lol---this blog is just to share w/my other mom friends :) If felt good to say it--and it felt worthy of saying.
And, now I believe I'll blog about the good doctor that has taken up enough of my thoughts for the past year.
My mom---wow---simply the most amazing woman I know. In a world filled with takers she is the biggest giver I know. I can't imagine my life without her....so, to sum it up, I've been very blessed. And my heart goes out to all my friends that have dealt with so much. Although mom and dad won't read this---lol---this blog is just to share w/my other mom friends :) If felt good to say it--and it felt worthy of saying.
And, now I believe I'll blog about the good doctor that has taken up enough of my thoughts for the past year.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
I'm So Nervous!!!!!!!
I promise I'm going to try to write a fun post soon!! Lately, it's been a bunch of whining and well I'm so not that person lol! I've just got to get through this week!!! Jordan starts school tomorrow. I'm so nervous for her. She's excited which is great, but I'm so not! I'm trying not to let it show. She knows I'll miss her. It's just going to be so hard, because I've enjoyed her home the last 2 years.
And the thought of this Friday just makes me sick. I can't believe it's been a year since Lauren has had to have anything done. Please say a prayer that it goes well and they don't throw us anymore surprises! It's just so hard to go back to that place.
And the thought of this Friday just makes me sick. I can't believe it's been a year since Lauren has had to have anything done. Please say a prayer that it goes well and they don't throw us anymore surprises! It's just so hard to go back to that place.
Monday, August 14, 2006
Whole Lotta Bitchin
This is going to be a woe is me post---just wanted to warn you.
First, most of you know my brother and his wife, Jill, divorced last November. No signs of trouble, nothing. She just up and decides she's no longer happy. Then we find out she had someone else. The person I had talked to daily by phone or in person for the last 10 years up and left -- me included. She turned her girls' lives upside down. They're thrown all over the place. She had been a stayathome mom (use loosely); she got a job, stuck the youngest in daycare, and their time became split between aunts, mom, dad, grandmas, and babysitters. In my mind, she completely put herself before her girls.
So, it was hard but everyone especially my brother, muddled through. The only thing that had ever bugged me about Jill was the fact that even tho I knew/know she loves her 2 girls...she doesn't like to take care of them. She is absolutely fine with someone else having them. There were times it made me nuts when me or my mom would have them day after day, but other than that, I truly loved her like a sister. It's almost like she fell off the planet now. And, to top it off, she's happier than ever---I know I sound awful---but I hate it. She's marrying this guy in a few weeks. She has it completely and totally made. She hardly has to take care of her kids, gets a TON of child support (even tho my brother has them more than she does), and continues to go about as if she has done nothing wrong. I just don't get it. She has truly made me wonder if anybody I know is what they seem.
So, last time I saw her was at Jordan's b-day party in December. Months passed--no calls, nothing. Then last weekend, my oldest neice wanted to spend the night so we had to go by and pick her up. Jill comes out and hugs me for like 5 minutes. You know the kind where you try to end it but the other one won't let you. I was so close to tears but all the kids were around. She told me she missed me and that she had picked up the phone a million times. I know in my heart she misses me; I guess it's impossible to stay close to your ex-sister-in-law.
This is the same person that was at the hospital during Lauren's first stay---just about everyday. She stayed nights with me...cried and prayed with me. Now, I know you don't stay married to someone just for their family. But, when you don't really have a reason to end your marriage other than your own foolishness....I don't know....it's over, they're both getting married to someone else---I think I'm the only one still reeling from their divorce.
So, my brother met someone a few months ago and they're already engaged. She's nice, has 2 kids--a 2-year old and a 3-year old. Between them they'll have a 2,3,4, and 8-year old. I've only been around her a handful of times, but I just do not care for her at all. She's 8 years younger than my brother---nothing wrong w/that....except that the age difference shows so much. Like I said, she's nice, but she has made no effort whatsoever to get to know me. She's been over to my house 3 different times---all 3 times, she gets in the pool while her 2 little ones come into my house. I don't mind watching other people's kids sometimes...but she doesn't even know me. The first time was on July 4th....she left for about an hour and left the kids here for me and mom to watch---ok no big deal---except they don't know us and vice versa and they're screaming for their mom the whole time. The other time she came over was one day after Lauren's cardio appt....they always drain me and her....we had to get up early, etc. She comes over--hops in the pool and her 2 littles ones stayed in with me. She doesn't ask--it just happens. Then today, me and Lauren run to town, get home, they come over and it happens again. Yes, I know----it's my fault if I let it happen. But, what in the world do you say to someone who is apparently so friggin oblivious? It would just piss her off, thus pissing my brother off. But, does it really matter? I just don't do people this way. When in the world did people start thinking it's ok to do others like this? I'm not expecting any answers--just bitchin like I said.
Anyway, my mom claims she and my brother are crazy about each other. Well, of course, she's crazy about him---not very often some man will take in a much younger woman with 2 little kids, plus I know him...he's probably spent a ton of money on her already. They planned to get married next June, now it's moved up to Christmas. And, why do I even care? Well, I guess I wouldn't if she'd take care of her own kids when they come around.
So, this isn't even the tip of the iceberg with what's really bothering me. I feel like I have noone, no safe place, to even talk about it.....it's just too crazy to understand. And, again, it's something that I myself have put up with for years. Regardless of how I try to hide stuff, my mom always knows when something is wrong. So earlier, when everyone was here, she asked what was wrong and kept asking. Finally I said Mom I've got a ton on my mind and I just don't want to talk about it right now---which in turn hurts her feelings....I thought I said it as nice as possible.
Ok---so this is ironic---just the other night i was talking to one of you about how I am not the type of person to whine lol and here I go :) But, mission accomplished---I feel better :)
First, most of you know my brother and his wife, Jill, divorced last November. No signs of trouble, nothing. She just up and decides she's no longer happy. Then we find out she had someone else. The person I had talked to daily by phone or in person for the last 10 years up and left -- me included. She turned her girls' lives upside down. They're thrown all over the place. She had been a stayathome mom (use loosely); she got a job, stuck the youngest in daycare, and their time became split between aunts, mom, dad, grandmas, and babysitters. In my mind, she completely put herself before her girls.
So, it was hard but everyone especially my brother, muddled through. The only thing that had ever bugged me about Jill was the fact that even tho I knew/know she loves her 2 girls...she doesn't like to take care of them. She is absolutely fine with someone else having them. There were times it made me nuts when me or my mom would have them day after day, but other than that, I truly loved her like a sister. It's almost like she fell off the planet now. And, to top it off, she's happier than ever---I know I sound awful---but I hate it. She's marrying this guy in a few weeks. She has it completely and totally made. She hardly has to take care of her kids, gets a TON of child support (even tho my brother has them more than she does), and continues to go about as if she has done nothing wrong. I just don't get it. She has truly made me wonder if anybody I know is what they seem.
So, last time I saw her was at Jordan's b-day party in December. Months passed--no calls, nothing. Then last weekend, my oldest neice wanted to spend the night so we had to go by and pick her up. Jill comes out and hugs me for like 5 minutes. You know the kind where you try to end it but the other one won't let you. I was so close to tears but all the kids were around. She told me she missed me and that she had picked up the phone a million times. I know in my heart she misses me; I guess it's impossible to stay close to your ex-sister-in-law.
This is the same person that was at the hospital during Lauren's first stay---just about everyday. She stayed nights with me...cried and prayed with me. Now, I know you don't stay married to someone just for their family. But, when you don't really have a reason to end your marriage other than your own foolishness....I don't know....it's over, they're both getting married to someone else---I think I'm the only one still reeling from their divorce.
So, my brother met someone a few months ago and they're already engaged. She's nice, has 2 kids--a 2-year old and a 3-year old. Between them they'll have a 2,3,4, and 8-year old. I've only been around her a handful of times, but I just do not care for her at all. She's 8 years younger than my brother---nothing wrong w/that....except that the age difference shows so much. Like I said, she's nice, but she has made no effort whatsoever to get to know me. She's been over to my house 3 different times---all 3 times, she gets in the pool while her 2 little ones come into my house. I don't mind watching other people's kids sometimes...but she doesn't even know me. The first time was on July 4th....she left for about an hour and left the kids here for me and mom to watch---ok no big deal---except they don't know us and vice versa and they're screaming for their mom the whole time. The other time she came over was one day after Lauren's cardio appt....they always drain me and her....we had to get up early, etc. She comes over--hops in the pool and her 2 littles ones stayed in with me. She doesn't ask--it just happens. Then today, me and Lauren run to town, get home, they come over and it happens again. Yes, I know----it's my fault if I let it happen. But, what in the world do you say to someone who is apparently so friggin oblivious? It would just piss her off, thus pissing my brother off. But, does it really matter? I just don't do people this way. When in the world did people start thinking it's ok to do others like this? I'm not expecting any answers--just bitchin like I said.
Anyway, my mom claims she and my brother are crazy about each other. Well, of course, she's crazy about him---not very often some man will take in a much younger woman with 2 little kids, plus I know him...he's probably spent a ton of money on her already. They planned to get married next June, now it's moved up to Christmas. And, why do I even care? Well, I guess I wouldn't if she'd take care of her own kids when they come around.
So, this isn't even the tip of the iceberg with what's really bothering me. I feel like I have noone, no safe place, to even talk about it.....it's just too crazy to understand. And, again, it's something that I myself have put up with for years. Regardless of how I try to hide stuff, my mom always knows when something is wrong. So earlier, when everyone was here, she asked what was wrong and kept asking. Finally I said Mom I've got a ton on my mind and I just don't want to talk about it right now---which in turn hurts her feelings....I thought I said it as nice as possible.
Ok---so this is ironic---just the other night i was talking to one of you about how I am not the type of person to whine lol and here I go :) But, mission accomplished---I feel better :)
Thursday, August 03, 2006
I love my online friends!!!!!!
Seriously, I have no idea what I would do without all of you! I have met some of the most amazing women! I was thinking about it earlier........who in the world would I call/or write to :) about different things if I didn't have all of you?
There are some that I owe so much to! Shelley for answering sooooo many of my questions/concerns---she'll never know how much it means to just have someone that is always there for this stuff!
And others, that offer prayers & support during the scary stuff---Cathy, Lin, Cindy, Monica, Deana, Jamie, Ruthie, Stacey, Angel, Monica, Katie, Ania, Florence, and Shelley again :) Well, a ton more do too, but these ladies never miss an opportunity to cheer Lauren on!!
And my night-time chats with Deana, Monica, Jamie, and Angel---it's so fun to sit back and laugh at the crazy stuff you girls come up with!
So thanks Angel & Monica for making me feel special today and for reminding me of how lucky I am to have all of you!
I love you all!!!!!!
There are some that I owe so much to! Shelley for answering sooooo many of my questions/concerns---she'll never know how much it means to just have someone that is always there for this stuff!
And others, that offer prayers & support during the scary stuff---Cathy, Lin, Cindy, Monica, Deana, Jamie, Ruthie, Stacey, Angel, Monica, Katie, Ania, Florence, and Shelley again :) Well, a ton more do too, but these ladies never miss an opportunity to cheer Lauren on!!
And my night-time chats with Deana, Monica, Jamie, and Angel---it's so fun to sit back and laugh at the crazy stuff you girls come up with!
So thanks Angel & Monica for making me feel special today and for reminding me of how lucky I am to have all of you!
I love you all!!!!!!
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