Whole Lotta Bitchin

This is going to be a woe is me post---just wanted to warn you.

First, most of you know my brother and his wife, Jill, divorced last November. No signs of trouble, nothing. She just up and decides she's no longer happy. Then we find out she had someone else. The person I had talked to daily by phone or in person for the last 10 years up and left -- me included. She turned her girls' lives upside down. They're thrown all over the place. She had been a stayathome mom (use loosely); she got a job, stuck the youngest in daycare, and their time became split between aunts, mom, dad, grandmas, and babysitters. In my mind, she completely put herself before her girls.
So, it was hard but everyone especially my brother, muddled through. The only thing that had ever bugged me about Jill was the fact that even tho I knew/know she loves her 2 girls...she doesn't like to take care of them. She is absolutely fine with someone else having them. There were times it made me nuts when me or my mom would have them day after day, but other than that, I truly loved her like a sister. It's almost like she fell off the planet now. And, to top it off, she's happier than ever---I know I sound awful---but I hate it. She's marrying this guy in a few weeks. She has it completely and totally made. She hardly has to take care of her kids, gets a TON of child support (even tho my brother has them more than she does), and continues to go about as if she has done nothing wrong. I just don't get it. She has truly made me wonder if anybody I know is what they seem.
So, last time I saw her was at Jordan's b-day party in December. Months passed--no calls, nothing. Then last weekend, my oldest neice wanted to spend the night so we had to go by and pick her up. Jill comes out and hugs me for like 5 minutes. You know the kind where you try to end it but the other one won't let you. I was so close to tears but all the kids were around. She told me she missed me and that she had picked up the phone a million times. I know in my heart she misses me; I guess it's impossible to stay close to your ex-sister-in-law.
This is the same person that was at the hospital during Lauren's first stay---just about everyday. She stayed nights with me...cried and prayed with me. Now, I know you don't stay married to someone just for their family. But, when you don't really have a reason to end your marriage other than your own foolishness....I don't know....it's over, they're both getting married to someone else---I think I'm the only one still reeling from their divorce.
So, my brother met someone a few months ago and they're already engaged. She's nice, has 2 kids--a 2-year old and a 3-year old. Between them they'll have a 2,3,4, and 8-year old. I've only been around her a handful of times, but I just do not care for her at all. She's 8 years younger than my brother---nothing wrong w/that....except that the age difference shows so much. Like I said, she's nice, but she has made no effort whatsoever to get to know me. She's been over to my house 3 different times---all 3 times, she gets in the pool while her 2 little ones come into my house. I don't mind watching other people's kids sometimes...but she doesn't even know me. The first time was on July 4th....she left for about an hour and left the kids here for me and mom to watch---ok no big deal---except they don't know us and vice versa and they're screaming for their mom the whole time. The other time she came over was one day after Lauren's cardio appt....they always drain me and her....we had to get up early, etc. She comes over--hops in the pool and her 2 littles ones stayed in with me. She doesn't ask--it just happens. Then today, me and Lauren run to town, get home, they come over and it happens again. Yes, I know----it's my fault if I let it happen. But, what in the world do you say to someone who is apparently so friggin oblivious? It would just piss her off, thus pissing my brother off. But, does it really matter? I just don't do people this way. When in the world did people start thinking it's ok to do others like this? I'm not expecting any answers--just bitchin like I said.
Anyway, my mom claims she and my brother are crazy about each other. Well, of course, she's crazy about him---not very often some man will take in a much younger woman with 2 little kids, plus I know him...he's probably spent a ton of money on her already. They planned to get married next June, now it's moved up to Christmas. And, why do I even care? Well, I guess I wouldn't if she'd take care of her own kids when they come around.
So, this isn't even the tip of the iceberg with what's really bothering me. I feel like I have noone, no safe place, to even talk about it.....it's just too crazy to understand. And, again, it's something that I myself have put up with for years. Regardless of how I try to hide stuff, my mom always knows when something is wrong. So earlier, when everyone was here, she asked what was wrong and kept asking. Finally I said Mom I've got a ton on my mind and I just don't want to talk about it right now---which in turn hurts her feelings....I thought I said it as nice as possible.
Ok---so this is ironic---just the other night i was talking to one of you about how I am not the type of person to whine lol and here I go :) But, mission accomplished---I feel better :)